


The End of the Circus:  A New History

by Pyeknu



Category: Azumanga Daioh, Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei, うる星やつら | Urusei Yatsura
Genre: Gen, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-18 00:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16106909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyeknu/pseuds/Pyeknu
Summary: An alternate timeline story for The End of the Circus:  A Tale of the Yizibajohei.  What if when the Oni came to Earth to launch their invasion, the captured Tariko Katabarbe was rescued by good friends?Especially if they hailed from Kumeta High School in Yokosuka and Azuma High School in Itabashi?Did the people who wished to brainwash the person born Moroboshi Ataru believe that the Children of the Forge would actually allow their friend to be trapped in sameness...?





	The End of the Circus:  A New History

**DISCLAIMER: Concurrent with fair dealing clauses of the _Copyright Act_ (R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42) of Canada and fair use clauses in copyright legislation in other nations, this is a work that was created solely for entertainment purposes. Furthermore, it is posted freely on the Internet without expectation or requirement of remuneration.**

 

****

 

_**Yokosuka, Kumeta Senior High School, one Saturday morning in mid-fall...** _

 

_Autumn...October...a gentle breeze in the air..._

 

Giggling to herself as she considered that poetic verse, the raven-haired teenager with the X-shaped barrette in her bangs and the beautiful chestnut brown eyes smiled as she slipped off her outdoor shoes to put on a pair of uwabaki before heading to where Class 2-F gathered in the southwest wing of the rustic school, one which seemed literally trapped in the times of the Shōwa Era to the uninitiated. Nodding greetings to passersby as she made her way to her homeroom, Fu'ura Kafuka could only beam on noting no one was upset about anything. Given her optimistic outlook on life, that made her feel good, a decided change from darker days when she lived under another name...

 

_No! Don't think that! It's all over with, thanks to Tariko-chan..._

 

"Ohayō gozaimasu, Kafuka-san."

 

Kafuka stopped and turned as one of her peers came up to join her, dressed as she had always done since shortly after the start of the term in her Meiji-era "school uniform" of a checkered haori jacket over a hakama skirt tied down with a wide obi under her breasts. "Ohayō, Matoi-chan," the reborn magical researcher's daughter greeted the would-be wife of their rather unique homeroom teacher as they stepped through the doorway and made their way to their seats.

 

"Matoi-chan! Kafuka-chan! Ohayō!"

 

Greetings were exchanged with others in the classroom as people took their seats in preparation for another day of classes. Present in the room was Ōra Kanako, a content smile on her face as she gazed nowhere in particular, her deep brown eyes unfocused. Seeing that, all the other girls in Class 2-F smiled contently; as long as the current incarnation of the Watchful One, _**Lemyo**_ (" _ **Oracle**_ "), wasn't reacting to some strange thing in their part of the Multiverse, all was right in the world.

 

"So where's Sensei, Matoi-san?" Kitsu Chiri asked as she made sure everything was set up at the teacher's desk perfectly.

 

"He's not trying to make himself taller again, is he?" Kobushi Abiru asked.

 

Giggles filled the room. The antics of their beloved "Zetsubō-sensei", Itoshiki Nozomu, always filled their hearts with mirth even if there were times people in Class 2-F really worried about their young homeroom instructor and classics teacher. Given the man's chronic depression — not a WEEK seemed to pass without some attempt by Nozomu to kill himself — it was a miracle that anything was taught in any of his classes. Despite his interesting eccentricities, though, he was well loved by all the girls in the class and respected by all the boys; any man who could tolerate such unique personalities as what now were part of Class 2-F was definitely the living personification of a modern Japanese samurai.

 

Especially when one kept Tsunetsuki Matoi in mind.

 

Given that Nozomu had been the stalker's "boyfriend du jour" for MONTHS now...!

 

"Eh?!"

 

Silence.

 

More silence.

 

Still more silence.

 

Then...

 

"Kanako-chan...?" Kafuka hesitantly asked as people warily looked at Kanako.

 

Blinking, the girl with the black hair in the high ponytail rose. "I have to go ask Kiri-chan something."

 

She walked out of the classroom. The others watched her, then Kudō Jun gazed with worry at Kaga Ai. "Um, Ai-chan, is Kanako-chan alright?" the storyteller asked. "Did you sense what she just saw?"

 

Ai shook her head. "Sumimasen, Jun-san!" she said as she bowed towards him, a panicked look on her face. Fortunately for Jun, he had stood well enough away from her to not get struck by that very hard head of hers; as had been seen several times before since she had been Gifted, Ai's headbutts could be downright LETHAL! "I can't really read Kanako-san's mind when she has a vision like that. The power of her vision is so great, it almost totally overwhelms my own powers...!"

 

As Jun moved to calm the chronic apologist down, the door opened to reveal their teacher. "Ohayō gozaimasu, minna-san," Itoshiki Nozomu called out as everyone who wasn't standing rose to greet him with polite bows. "Confirmed that Komori-san and Ōra-san are...!"

 

A horrified shriek then rocked Kumeta High to its foundations!

 

Everyone froze as they turned towards the doorway. "What...?" Nozomu began...

 

...before the door flew open to reveal a pale-faced Kanako. "Kanako-san! What is it?!" Chiri demanded. "What did Kiri-san...?"

 

" _ **IT'S TERRIBLE!**_ " the Watchful One shrieked, rocking the school with the power of her voice, which made Otonashi Meru gaze enviously at her. " _ **TARIKO-CHAN'S BEEN MISSING FOR A MONTH!**_ "

 

Silence.

 

Ditto.

 

Another ditto.

  
Then...

 

" _ **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT...?!**_ "

 

That was a lot of the girls in Class 2-F...save Meru, of course.

 

It was a miracle that shout didn't bring down the whole school building!

 

****

 

_**The End of the Circus: A Tale of the Yizibajohei** _

**Alternate Universe Story:** _**A New History** _

by Fred Herriot

 

Based on characters and situations from _Mah_ _ō Sensei Negima_ , created by Akamatsu Ken; _Azumanga Dai_ _ō_ , created by Azuma Kiyohiko; _Men In Black_ , created by Lowell Cunningham; _Sayonara Zetsub_ _ō-sensei_ , created by Kumeta Kōji; _Sweet Valley High_ , created by Francine Pascal; _Harry Potter_ , created by Joanna K. Rowling; _Urusei Yatsura_ , created by Takahashi Rumiko; _normalman_ , created by Jim Valentino; and _Mai-HiME_ , created by Yoshino Hiroyuki and Sunrise.

 

Also including characters and situations from _Urusei Yatsura: The Senior Year_ , created by Mike Smith and Fred Herriot.

 

****

 

 **Note:** _This story is an alternate history version of_ The End of the Circle: A Tale of the Yizibajohei _, starting about thirteen months before the main story would began (mid-October of 2011). In_ Urusei Yatsura _chronology, this begins before the first manga chapter/anime episode._

 

****

 

_**Yokosuka, Kumeta High, Class 2-F, homeroom class...** _

 

"Okay, the last entry in the _Book_ was a month ago..."

 

"You can tell that, Kitsu-san?"

 

Kitsu Chiri smirked. "Tariko-san is very precise when she puts in new entries in the _Book_ , Itoshiki-sensei," she reported as she scanned the last written pages in the beautiful tome used to record a decade-long journey for an effectively orphaned boy-turned-girl native to a suburb of Tōkyō who had effectively started an effective second "metahuman revolution" among the people of Earth. "According to this, the last two people she pre-Gifted were girls living in Tomobiki..."

 

"Why would Tariko-chan go back to her hometown, Chiri-chan?" Fujiyoshi Harumi asked. "She hates that place! It just reminds her of..."

 

"Well, if Rumiko-chan and Chigaiko-chan were worthy, Tariko-chan wouldn't ignore them, Harumi-chan," Fu'ura Kafuka stated as she tapped the index of _The Book of Pretty Girls_ , which sat on the teacher's desk while many in the class scanned the legion of names, both in the main list and the annex list of others who had been enticed by the thousand or so people who had travelled to the third world of Kaeyu to receive a metahuman Gift thanks to Tariko Katabarbe. "If they're worthy..."

 

The others nodded. Kumeta High's interaction with the woman destined to become the Trickster of the Great Show of Life, _**Tuyuki**_ (" _ **Coyote**_ "), began a year before Nozomu became a teacher there, starting with Tsunetsuki Matoi. The stalker whose parents frequently cheated on each other had fallen head over heels for a kendō-ka who had been quick to reject her. That sent Matoi into a suicidal low, driving her to commit ritual seppuku with a kitchen knife one night. Fortunately, she had been saved by her mother, but her stomach had been badly infected by the knife, requiring an organ transplant.

 

Fortunately, she got a new stomach thanks to a recently-deceased girl her age named Akagi Anne.

 

Thanks to Anne being of _**magical**_ blood...!

 

"Tariko-san should be persuaded to go all the way," Kimura Kaede quietly noted. People had been quick to notice that the girl suffering from dissociative identity disorder was in her "birth" mode; her voice was quiet and calm, the perfect reflection of the yamato nadeshiko she always strove to be whenever that side of her soul was in the driver's seat. "Ayumu-san has tried to tell her to do it for years now. All the risks she takes helping people all the time..."

 

"We know, Kaede-chan! We know!" Kobushi Abiru breathed out, keeping her voice moderated to ensure that Kaede's personality didn't do a flip and made her become the bellicose foreigner "Kaere" that was happy to sue anyone who dared cross her.

 

Everyone then gasped on hearing a quiet growl from one desk.

 

Heads hesitantly turned to allow them to gaze on Otonashi Meru, who seemed to burn with outrage as she glared at her cell phone. "Oi! Meru-Meru! What's wrong?!" Sekiutsu Maria asked as she walked over to gaze at the screen before she blinked.

 

"What is it, Maria-san?" Chiri asked.

 

The illegal refugee from the Philippines blinked before she gazed in confusion at the class iinchō. "Meru-Meru tried to text Reigi-san over in Tomobiki to ask what was going on with Tariko," Maria then reported. "He texted back and asked, 'Who are you?'"

 

Silence.

 

More silence.

 

Still more silence.

 

Then...

 

"Brainwashing!" Chiri growled. "Let's go, girls!"

 

All the girls who had been Gifted with the help of Tariko over the last year quickly raced out of the classroom. "Ah! Extended study hall," Nozomu then declared. "Let's begin the day, minna-san!"

 

The others in the room exchanged amused looks...

 

****

 

 _**Outside the borders of Nishit** _ _**ō** _ _**ky** _ _**ō** _ _**in Nerima, an hour later...** _

 

"Yeah, you're sure right about that, Kafuka-chan! There's sure a lot of ebony mesonium all around the town! What's going on here?!"

 

"Can you dispel it, Ayumu-san?"

 

Kasuga Ayumu shook her head as she twisted her glowing hand around, allowing her mind to scan what was now encompassing a whole town of over a hundred thousand people, cutting them off in many ways from the outside world. A small crowd from both Kumeta Senior High School in Yokosuka and Azuma Senior High School in nearby Itabashi were standing at the east end of the Mejiro-dōri which normally served as Tomobiki's main east-west thoroughfare; such merged at this point with one of the main roads connecting the western suburbs within Tōkyō itself. All the girls were in their school uniforms; transforming into their battle suits was just a quick mental command for any of them.

 

Fortunately, Mihama Chiyo had brought out her normal protective goggles that had a tonne of sensory filaments inserted in the mesonium-augmented transparent aluminum front panels that protected her eyes whenever she got into a fight scene; such was wirelessly linked to her personal tricorder, now in her hand. "No, Chiri-san, it would be too dangerous!" the bright pre-teen genius who normally led the Young Guns warned, a dark look crossing her childish face. "It's anchored to mesonium stones in that hill with the large cherry blossom tree at the south end of town." She indicated the hill in question, which was barely visible from their vantage point. "If Ōsaka-san tries to brute-force it..."

 

"Can you scan if Tariko-chan is there, Chiyosuke?" Takino Tomo asked.

 

"Hai, just a moment..."

 

« **Hey, guys!** »

 

People perked. "Where are you, Kiri-san?" Chiri demanded.

 

« **I just teleported myself into Tariko-chan's old bedroom, Chiri-chan,** » Komori Kiri replied over a special hyperspace communications system all Gifted Yizibajohei could access through their battle uniforms and various parts of their civilian clothes — usually their belt buckles or some form of jewellery — they used as the trigger to transform into their battle uniforms. « **It's fully FURNISHED! Last time I was here a few months ago, it was empty and full of dust! Looks like...** »

 

Silence then fell. "Kiri-san?! What's wrong?!" Chiyo demanded.

 

« **Okay, something REALLY weird is happening here!** » Kiri observed. « **Just looked into the closet and the dresser and I'm seeing BOY'S clothing!** »

 

" _ **WHAT?!**_ " everyone exclaimed...

 

...before the rumble of military vehicles from behind made the girls spin around to watch as a column of Type 10 and Type 74 main battle tanks supported by Type 96 armoured personnel carriers bearing the insignia of the First Division of the JGSDF raced past them, heading into Tomobiki itself. Chiyo's sharp eyes and the sensor filaments in her goggles were quick to detect very minor modifications to the hulls of the various vehicles, not to mention the helmets the soldiers were wearing. "Mesonium radiation masking filaments...?" the young genius from Itabashi wondered aloud, making people blink.

 

« **The bedroom's lined with the same stuff!** » Kiri reported over the comm link from three kilometres away. « **My powers are picking them up. I think the whole town's been layered this way! We need Margo-san here QUICK to fix this up!** »

 

"I can't sense anyone in town," Mizuhara Koyomi added, her observation confirmed with an apologetic nod from Kaga Ai. "I can't even sense Tariko-chan in there, if she IS there, of course! What the...!"

 

"Yomi-san? Can you sense the soldiers?!" Chiyo asked.

 

The current incarnation of the most powerful telepath on Yiziba blinked before she looked at the convoy of military vehicles streaming past the gathering of high school girls from two different cities. "I can sense them, Chiyosuke," Yomi replied, her caramel eyes narrow. "They've been told something very big is happening, but not even the officers were briefed as to the 'what'. Those filaments you're picking out doesn't shield their minds, Chiyo-chan. But it's a national emergency."

 

_Meru-meru! Meru-meru! Meru-meru! Piroriparopirirora!_

 

Everyone pulled out their cell phones to see the message that was transmitted by Meru. [ **Just texted Idol Girl to get into the government files!** ] the effectively mute rich girl had written. [ **All the government departments are preparing for something called 'Case Dejima', whatever the hell THAT means! She's also checking things in the Family Registrar's Office concerning Tariko. If Shut-In Chick's seeing BOY'S clothing, someone might have turned her back into Ataru.** ]

 

That made everyone gasp. "Oh, no! No! No! No! NO!" Kaede — now in full Kaere mode — snarled, her blue eyes blazing with outrage. "They can't do that to Tariko! Tennō himself forbade anything like that! Whoever did this is gonna get SUED out of their pants!"

 

Meru blinked, then she faced in the direction of Tomobiki.

 

"Boo!"

 

Everyone gasped at that whispered burst of noise...

 

...before a virtual AKIRA WAVE of quasi-sonic energy exploded from the normally-mute incarnation of the Silent Thunder, _**R'buoditeba**_ (" _ **Shockwave**_ ")! The very AIR before the massed girls from Yokosuka and Itabashi crackled heavily before the ear-splitting sound of shattering glass assaulted the girls' ears while the sky sparkled with bursts of lightning-like energy and glittering stars. The very ground heaved heavily under the feet and wheels of the soldiers deploying into Tomobiki as some tanks were literally pitched off their treads and sent flying into nearby houses. Seeing what was happening, Ayumu whooped. "Way to go, Meru-chan! You broke the shield down! We can go find Tariko-chan now!"

 

"Ōsaka...!"

 

" _ **HA-HA! FIGHT SCENE TIME!**_ " Tomo whooped.

 

Before anyone could stop her, the wild child of Class 2-6 from Azuma High leapt off the ground, her tenné seifuku instantly melting into the silver-trimmed black one piece bathing suit-like uniform of the Wild Warrior of Passion, _**Rimbo'o**_ (" _ **Warwind**_ "). As one of the most powerful people on Yiziba charged headlong into Tomobiki, she was instantly followed by Mitama Mayo, who quickly shifted into the white striped jumpsuit with crossed baseball bats of the Ultra-Batter of the North, _**Bumsoekuo**_ (" _ **Slugger**_ "). Before Kaede would race off after them, Yomi spun around, barking out telepathically, « _ **KAEDE!**_ »

 

The blonde part-Russian gasped before she gazed in confusion at Yiziba's most powerful telepath. "Wh-what is it, Koyomi-san?" she feebly asked.

 

Yomi pointed down the street at the overturned vehicles. "Casualties first!"

 

Everyone else sighed. "Ōsaka-san! You go find Tariko-san!" Chiyo barked out.

 

Ayumu gave her best friend a jaunty salute. "Yes, sir! C'mon, Meru-chan!"

 

Grasping Meru's hand, the Goddess Who Walks Among Men, _**Nodim**_ (" _ **Infinity**_ "), teleported away while the others raced over to the nearby wreckage of vehicles, allowing their own school uniforms to melt into their battle uniforms before they began rescue operations...

 

****

 

_**Near a baseball field about a kilometre from Tomobiki Senior High School overlooking the Shakujii River...** _

 

"Damn...! This must be an unlucky day...!"

 

As the bruised and shuddering Moroboshi Ataru moved to pick himself off the ground after being slammed in the face by a baseball, then smashed his back into a nearby telephone pole, he then blinked in confusion on seeing a rather large form loom in front of his eyes, dressed in the robes of an itinerant Buddhist monk. Jolting at such a frightening image, Ataru quickly scrambled to his feet...only to see that said "monster" was actually no taller than his waist. "Oh, geez...what...?"

 

A flash of energy — accompanied by a harsh burst of air thanks two young women's bodies entering the space that had just been empty air a second before — then slammed into the monk, sending him flying past Ataru into the telephone pole the latter had collided with moments before. "Huh?!" he called out while wincing on seeing that the old fellow had been nearly made a pancake by that blow.

 

"O-ha!"

 

He jolted, then turned...

 

...before gasping on seeing the two girls his age standing there. One was dressed in a grey sleeveless bodysuit with a turtleneck halter-top, white belt and buccaneer boots completing the ensemble with a white lemiscape insignia on the upper chest. The other girl, much shorter than the first yet quite mature for her statute, had the same cut of uniform, but it was a darker grey with black belt and boots, a black symbol similar to a Wi-Fi icon with the radio waves going up on her upper chest. Blinking in confusion while he felt aroused on seeing the outlines of their nipples and camel toes in their uniforms, he then concentrated on their faces...before a chill flooded his body from head to toe.

 

"Ayumu...Meru-chan...?"

 

As a torqued look crossed his face, the taller of the newcomers blinked before she moaned. "Oh, man! Who did this to you?! Hold still for a second!"

 

And with that, she literally reached INTO Ataru's forehead!

 

As nearby baseball players who had been looking for their lost ball gasped in shock on seeing that, Ataru croaked in fearful surprise before he blinked in confusion on noting that the person probing him wasn't hurting him. Unseen by him, the elderly monk that had been bashed away from him was now groaning as he picked himself off the ground. "It's...Fate..." he grunted before looking over...

 

...then he cried out on seeing what one of the newcomers was doing. " _ **EVIL SPIRIT! BEGONE!**_ " he bellowed as he charged her, cane held high.

 

She snapped the fingers of her free hand, making him vanish...

 

...before he appeared right over the river, then was sent for a swim!

 

As the baseball players all goggled at such a sight, Ataru cried out as something seemed to shear his mind in half, images of a much different life flooding his soul. At that same moment, his body began to glow almost as bright as the son, making the baseball players cry out in shock while the smaller girl who had just teleported in began taking pictures with her cell phone. As Ataru's normally brown eyes suddenly glowed a brilliant silver, a voice then boomed over the scene...

 

_**Tene lomher'buo, Tariko Katabarbe...!** _

 

" _ **NO!**_ "

 

As the aged monk tried to swim to shore to stop this mad possession (as he saw it) from taking the poor lad, Ataru cried out as his clothes burned away, his body starting to morph. " _ **Taeim letam...!**_ " exploded from his lips in a nearly-girlish cry of ecstasy as the woman probing his mind pulled her hand away, grinning in delight...just as the glowing aura around Ataru's body became blinding.

 

A second later, a titanic funnel of energy erupted into the sky over Tomobiki!

 

****

 

_**Nearby...** _

 

"Oh, SHIT! I KNEW this was going to happen!"

 

"What should we do, sir?!"

 

The elderly government official snarled as he pulled the binoculars away from his eyes. He and his immediate aides were seated inside a limousine parked about a hundred metres away from the place where Moroboshi Ataru was dying ONCE AGAIN...to be replaced by Tariko Katabarbe. "It'll be on those old fools' heads! I warned people this was a possibility!" Shaking his head, he took a breath. "Maybe this is for the best. We'll approach Tariko-sama when she's safe enough without worrying about becoming the victims of Post-Gifting Shock. With Ayumu-sama and Meru-sama there..."

 

"But what about Invader-taisa?" the large bodyguard/aide asked. "He'll be here in two hours. The _Kashin_ is an hour behind him."

 

A smirk crossed the older man's face as he sat back in his seat, crossing his arms. "Contact the Men In Black. Apologize to Rhetor-hakase about this issue and explain EVERYTHING to him! He'll get in contact with the Academician and the Philosopher! Hopefully, they can swing their starships close by to prevent the Urusians from doing something stupid."

 

"And First District, sir?"

 

The official's smirk turned into a disgusted sneer. "On their heads."

 

The bodyguard nodded, a scowl on his face. "Hai!"

 

****

 

_**Nesu...TUYUKI!** _

 

The ground slightly shook for a second as that booming voice echoed over the scene, then the baseball players blinked as the blinding radiance of what just overcame the guy those mystery-women were with faded. While many blinked to clear their eyes of that brilliant light, the right outfielder turned to look...

 

...before he gaped on seeing a beautiful young WOMAN now standing where that guy who got hit with the fly ball had been, she dressed in the same type of uniform the other mystery-women wore, though it was an off-white affair with black belt and boots, darker grey tabby cat-like striping on the sides and a black wolf-like insignia on the chest. Save for the same hairstyle and the similar shape of the face, this woman was as different from that poor guy as night was from day.

 

"Wasn't that...a _**guy**_ a few seconds ago?" the shortstop asked.

 

The other boys shrugged.

 

"Ah! Damn it! What happened?!"

 

The players all hushed up as the girl in the grey suit breathed out. "Whew! I can't believe someone tried to do that to you, Tariko-chan! You okay?!"

 

The just-transformed girl blinked for a moment, she looking as if she was trying to recall something very important, then she looked around, her eyes narrow. "I'm in Tomobiki still," she noted, her voice possessing a very nice lilt that made the players all seem to swoon at such a sensual sound. "What the hell's going on here, guys?!" she then demanded of her friends. "Why am I still here?!"

 

_Meru-meru! Meru-meru! Meru-meru! Piroriparopirirora!_

 

Tariko turned to see the shorter girl hold up her cell phone so she could read what was written on the touch screen. [ **Space-eyes got a vision of you being in trouble. Shut-in Chick just checked out your place. We found out through the** _ **Book**_ **that you came here a MONTH ago to pre-Gift two girls here in town, Inu Chigaiko and Tsuruya Rumiko. Those are the last entries there.** ]

 

Silence.

 

More silence.

 

Still more silence.

 

Then...

 

" _ **WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?!**_ "

 

"You were possessed, child."

 

Tariko and her friends looked over...

 

...then the former held out her hand. Instantly, a flash of light caused the very soaked monk to wind up giving him totally dry clothes, making him gasp in surprise. "Thank you, my dear," he said as he adjusted his kasa to allow him to peer at her with his mage sight. A moment later, he sighed. "Yes, you were possessed, Tariko Katabarbe. And a most hideous possession it was indeed!"

 

Tariko blinked...

 

****

 

 _**Tampopo's R** _ _**āmen and Beefbowl Bar in the Tomobiki Ginza, an hour later...** _

 

"Um, Tariko-san...?"

 

"What is it, Chiyo-chan?"

 

"Aren't we drawing a crowd being like this?"

 

Tariko blinked before she smirked. It had been a quick trip for Komori Kiri — the current incarnation of the Cosmic Traveller, _**Raboro'or'be**_ (" _ **Domovoi**_ ") — to go back to her country cabin on Yiziba's northern continent to get her friend's wallet so she could pay for some meals. As everyone from both the Azuma Gang and the Kumeta Group sat at the main counter and around several tables enjoying some welcome food, they ignored the growing crowd of people who were gazing in confusion at the pretty girls in form-fitting uniforms that harked back to the days of the metahuman battles that went hand-in-hand with the Second World War. "Oh, relax, Chiyo-chan," the newly-Gifted Trickster of the Show said as she waved down the Bright Genius of the Young Guns, _**R'bemguo**_ (" _ **Prodigy**_ "). "Everyone heard the Conservator call out when I finally let the Gift take me. It was quite the scene, so they're curious."

 

The younger girl hummed before she sighed, then turned back to her gyūdon. "I just got back into town myself," Kamekichi Tampopo, the overweight woman appearing to be the age of Tariko's biological mother who ran one of the most popular eateries in town, then mused as she leaned down on the counter. "People were talking about you as Ataru when they mentioned you. No mention of all of you being missing all these years since Ayone-san took you to Yiziba."

 

"Mass hypnosis, I would conclude," Sakurambō Hayao mused as he enjoyed a welcome bowl of gyūdon with Tariko paying for it; he had insisted that everyone call him "Cherry" given how his monastic name could be interpreted as. "I can feel the wa of the whole town. It's one giant magical sinkhole. I've never sensed something like this." He gazed at Tariko. "Totally focused on you."

 

"Hai, Ojii-san, we noticed it too!" Chiyo reported. "The town was layered in some ebony mesonium-charged field that designed to block a lot of things from entering or leaving Tomobiki. Meru-san's shout disrupted it, but it's still there in places." She gazed on Tariko. "We'll need Margo-san, Tariko-san."

 

"Let's find out what's it about before we get Margo involved, okay?" Tariko advised as some of the girls shivered on hearing THAT woman's name.

 

"Hai!"

 

"So how did you become a girl?! We saw a boy!"

 

That was the shortstop of the baseball team that had been playing when "Ataru" had been walking by. "Not a big secret," Tariko noted. "I was born Moroboshi Ataru, a boy. Ten years ago, after my so-called 'mother' said 'I wish I never had you!' right to my FACE for the umpteenth time, I decided to run away from home. I was found by the woman I see as my real mother, one of the Nameless on Yiziba. She took me there and pre-Gifted me to become Tuyuki; 'Coyote' as it would be said here. But since the last Tuyuki was a boy, I had to be a girl. Moroboshi Ataru, exit: Stage left!" she declared as she pointed to her left. As everyone chuckled on hearing that reference to classical American anime, Tariko then pointed right. "Tariko Katabarbe, enter: Stage right!" As all the girls whooped in delight on hearing that, she shrugged. "So I grew up as a girl. I also decided that if I could become a metahuman, so could others. Everyone around me right now save for Venerable Sakurambō are metahumans."

 

As the witnesses nodded, Cherry looked over. "But why change you back into your birth body, child?" he asked. "When I came up to you earlier, the sheer negative energy that surrounded you and tried to inundate you was enormous. As if all the plagues in the world were trying to haunt you. I've never seen anything quite like it...and I've encountered Itoshiki Nozomu before! He had _**nothing**_ on you!"

 

"Daijōbu, Sensei! Daijōbu!" Fu'ura Kafuka declared from beside Cherry. Like the others, the magical researcher's daughter with the new "pen name" was in her battle uniform, the black-and-dark grey with the shadowed diamond of the Traveller in the Night, _**Tadi Butuor'ba**_ (" _ **Shadow Walker**_ "). "Even if someone was being silly with Tariko-chan, it's all corrected and people will be better off for it!"

 

He chuckled. "I admire your outlook on life, Kafuka-san."

 

Chuckles filled the room...

 

...before the door opened. "Irasshaimase!" Tampopo called out before she blinked on seeing the two men in the dark business suits there, though neither looked like they were of the Men In Black. "Er...?"

 

The elderly of the two bowed to Tariko. "Forgive us for disturbing you, Tariko-sama," he formally declared. "But the world needs you now."

 

Tariko blinked in confusion...

 

****

 

_**The Toranoseishin Finances Tower downtown, an hour later...** _

 

"The Urusians, huh? Well, it was a tossup between them and the Ipraedies..."

 

"You are not surprised by this, Tariko-sama?"

 

Tariko blinked as she gazed on the representative from the Prime Minister's Office who had been directed to make first contact with the party from the fourth world of Oniboshi upon his arrival on Earth to commence the planned "invasion" of the third world of Sol. "Not really," she admitted before a smiling secretary handed her a cup of tea. Noting that the poor woman had quite the relieved look on her face — no doubt thanks to both Mizuhara Koyomi and Kaga Ai using their telepathy to clear up the memory blocks put on them concerning their ultimate employer — the Trickster of the Show winked at her in reassurance, then she turned back to her guest. "I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to the politics on that planet. It's definitely NOT my fight scene!" As the visitors from the Kantei in Chiyoda chuckled on hearing that, the heiress to the small fortune the Moroboshi Clan of Mutsu had accumulated over the centuries as the central family of the Tenchiaiki Jūkazoku added, "You should talk to Chiri-chan's classmates Shōko-chan and Miko-chan about it; they frequently go to Onishuto to play around with people's heads to alleviate the boredom while they're in school." As Kitsu Chiri nodded to indicate her willingness to get her classmates to help out — she was in the office representing the Kumeta Group alongside Tariko's chief aide Yumoa Reigi and Mihama Chiyo representing the Azuma Group — Tariko asked, "You guys know who controls what in local space?"

 

"Hai," the chief representative stated. "We're at the end of a long corridor of thirty light-years that serves as the only free trade route between the two 'wings' of the Galactic Federation; the Urusian colony of Toshitto sits at the other end. Controlling space on both sides are the Imperial Dominion of Noukiios and the Ipraedies Empire. Transit through the former's space enforces some heavy tolls. Transit through the latter's space is often lethal." He sighed. "We're at a choke point in space. President Hozan Lana of Uru obviously wants to ensure the choke point remains open. Our system-mates on Triton can only do so much. By 'invading' us even if they intend to allow us to 'defend' ourselves via their type of tag race, they're showing that they don't want the Ipraedies here. Even if we 'win' the tag race and earn the Urusians' respect, it still could keep the Ipraedies away."

 

"Learn new things every day," Chiri noted. "What about the Niphentaxians?"

 

"Who?" the representative's chief aide asked as the visitors all blinked.

 

Tariko smirked. "Second girl in the _Book of Pretty Girls_ is from Uru: Redet Lum. Shortly after Ayumu was gifted, she sensed Lum in a jungle close to her house outside Onishuto crying about something. We went over to see what was going on and found a POWER DAMPENER strapped around her neck." She snapped her fingers. "Bye-bye flight powers, bye-bye lightning powers; since she was so young, having that strapped on her would have made her a cripple in the eyes of her society for LIFE! Still, I always wondered if she was some descendant of Redet Danu, the fifteenth Tempest." She made a face as the ghostly memories of her own fifteenth incarnation's involvement in a month-long HOLOCAUST unleashed on Uru by Yiziba ultimately because of that woman flashed through her mind before she relaxed. "Ayumu got her back to normal, but Lum didn't want to have anything to do with being Gifted of course; you've probably heard how bad our past-selves worked them over twenty-five mini-series ago." As the visitors from Chiyoda nodded while some grinned, she added, "Turns out sometime prior to that, she saved this kid from Phentax Two named Ōgi. Niphentaxians are like the Iotians from that old _Star Trek_ episode, but they pump in a bit of the old religion into everything they copy." As Chiyo snickered and Chiri shook her head, sarcastically muttering, " _A_ **bit** _of the old religion?!_ ", Tariko added, "Next thing you know, BAM!" She waved her hands. "New 'church' named after her since this Ōgi kid thought she was divinely touched! It spread like the Dawn of Power did on Yiziba!"

 

"Even if they have a tonne of cultural observers on Earth," Chiri warned, making the visitors from the Kantei gape. "Even have bioroid assistant observers who could totally pass off as norms anywhere!"

 

Tariko considered that, then she concentrated for a second. « **Yomi?** »

 

« **Just got done with the last of the staff, Tariko** _ **,**_ » the mental "voice" of the Mistress of the Mind-Dive, _**Tum Kamtimta**_ (" _ **Soul Searcher**_ "), replied, she being heard by all. « **Whoever did this to Reigi-san and his friends were insanely sloppy about it.** »

 

"Arigatō, Koyomi-san," Reigi said as he rose. "If you'll excuse me, Tariko-san, I'll have everything concerning what your _**parents**_..." — one could coat the floor with the level of scorn he expressed on saying that word — "...might have done to all the accounts your grandmother left you checked over."

 

With respectful bows to both his employer and her honoured guests, the half-American twenty-something financial genius walked out of the office. "He's going to enjoy THAT fight scene," Tariko mused to herself before she perked as Yomi walked into the room. Like the Trickster of the Show and her friends, the Mistress of the Mind-Dive was in her fighting uniform, black overall with white belt and boots, a white hourglass insignia on her chest and protective goggles over her eyes. "Yomi, are any of those rimrae umale from Phentax Two living in this town?!"

 

Yomi blinked before she closed her eyes and concentrated. A moment later, her eyes opened. "There's quite a convention now," she reported. "All saying to each other that their 'goddess' is coming."

 

Tariko blinked. "Lum-chan's coming here?"

 

"She might be the Urusian champion, Tariko-sama," the chief representative from the Prime Minister's Office warned. "Invader-taisa boasted in his signal confirming the intentions of the Urusian government that his daughter would serve as the champion for his world."

 

"You would have the advantage in the confrontation scene, Tariko-sama," his chief aide advised. "Lum-san owes you an honour debt for ten years ago. Encountering one — excuse me, TWO! — of 'they who must never be named' at such a young age would mark her deeply, I believe. Especially if you found her in a situation where her very metahuman powers had been taken away from her."

 

"IF she remembers Ayumu and I, though," Tariko warned.

 

The others in the room hummed...

 

...before one of the other officials who had come to Tomobiki perked as his cell phone rang. Taking it out from under his jacket sleeve, he flipped it open, then held it to his ear. "Moshi-moshi?"

 

At that same moment, Yomi tensed, looking north. "Someone just arrived at your old house, Tariko-chan," she warned. "Redet Invader."

 

Hearing that, the Trickster of the Show smiled in amused anticipation.

 

"Taeim letam..."

 

Chiri, Chiyo and Yomi perked on hearing that escape her lips, they nodding in anticipation while the people from the Kantei all gulped.

 

_Let the Show begin..._

 

****

 

_**The Moroboshi home, moments later...** _

 

"D-d-dōzo...!"

 

Seeing how scared the woman handing him a cup of local tea was, the green-haired Oni warrior gave her his friendliest smile. "Thank you," he said in as calm of a voice as possible. _Didn't someone brief her on what's happening?_ the youngest battlewagon warlord in recent history wondered to himself; he had been greeted by a local official who had been standing guard by the house alongside the small host of military personnel when he flew down from his personal warp shuttle to begin the first contact with this world. And while he was quite sympathetic to Moroboshi Kinshō's current situation, he had his duty to perform. And no matter what his enemies in the Union Congress back in Onishuto gladly said about him behind his back, Redet Invader was a man who always willingly did his duty for his people.

 

Even something as utterly WRONG as invading a planet such as Earth.

 

"The Prime Minister's chief representative has gone out to locate our host's child and transport her..." — the official quickly and quietly cleared his throat before carrying on — "...him here right away so he could meet both you and your daughter, Invader-taisa."

 

Since Kinshō had been heading to the kitchen — no doubt to call her husband Muchi and some of "Ataru's" friends to try to track him/her down and warn them about what was happening — she didn't hear his gaffe even as Invader gazed in curiosity at him. "'Her'...?"

 

Wishing that his boss was present to handle this part of the explanation, the official took a deep breath. "Sir, there are things that have been happening on Earth over the last decade that may alarm you and your government. Certain elements of the government recently acted to mask such things from your people — magical seers and metahuman precognitives in our government sensed your coming over a month ago — but they failed quite spectacularly. We're trying to prevent something whose memories were burned into your mind when you were a child." As Invader gaped at him, the official took a deep breath. "I believe, sir, you call them as a group as 'They Who Must Never Be Named'?"

 

Silence.

 

More silence.

 

Still more silence.

 

Then...

 

"THEY are HERE?!" a white-faced Invader fearfully eeped as his mind nearly crashed at the ugly possibility of this "invasion" turning into a replay of the worst disaster the Urusian people had ever endured twenty-seven decades before.

 

"Only in small numbers, sir," the official assured him, which made the large alien blink in confusion. "I...realize that you will find it very hard to believe, but most natives of that planet wouldn't care to unleash something like what happened to their ancestors here on Earth. The memories of that horrible are are as burned into the minds of people such as Tariko-sama as what they did to you...!"

 

" _ **THERE IS NO TARIKO!**_ "

 

Both men wailed as Kinshō literally appeared before them, a titanic bloom of angry ki making her appear five times larger than Invader himself! " _ **I HAVE NO DAUGHTER! I HAVE A**_ **SON** _ **! AN IDIOT**_ **SON** _ **WHO RAN AWAY AND STOLE**_ **MY** _ **MONEY! DON'T EVER...!**_ "

 

_**KK-KRUNCH!** _

 

Moroboshi Ataru's mother suddenly found herself smashed face-first into the floorboards thanks to a well-aimed cinder block on her head. "Be quiet, Kinshō!" the young woman who had just appeared behind her birth-mother coldly declared as the front door opened, allowing a small group of people to walk inside, both men dressed as the official now in the living room was and young women all in very revealing jumpsuits with VERY familiar colour schemes and patterns.

 

Which the person who had just struck Kinshō down also wore.

 

The ONE fighting suit design pattern that had been brutally burned into the very minds of EVERY Urusian for over two centuries.

 

"So...you guys forgot to take that left turn at Albuquerque or something?" the woman who was legally known in Japan as "Moroboshi Tariko" calmly asked.

 

Seeing the newest incarnation of the Trickster of the Great Show of Life standing no more than two metres in front of him, Invader looked ready to faint...

 

****

 

_**A half-hour later...** _

 

"Here you are, Invader-taisa," Marui Madoka said with a welcome smile. "The eta in the spices was made fresh in the mountains of South Ryekkuch near Ryekkyuk. The fruit was picked just as soon as the farmers felt they were ripe enough."

 

Hearing that, Invader blushed before he took the cup of spiced ginseng tea just prepared for him by the Welcoming Mistress, _**Romim**_ (" _ **Maître**_ "). Sipping from it, he then gaped at the tangy taste of the hot pepper powder the would-be member of Kumeta Senior High's tea club had prepared for him before a delighted smile crossed his face. "My deepest thanks, Madame Romim," he said with a bow of his head. "I heard tea culture in this part of Earth was well-developed..."

 

The raven-haired girl with the odango-like buns at her temples blushed. "Madoka-san has learned her lessons well, Invader-taisa," Itoshiki Rin said from her place at the low living room table where the confrontation scene was being played out. The young sister of Itoshiki Nozomu was in the white jumpsuit with the grey belt and boots and the black cross rapiers insignia of the Noble Fencer of the West, _**Uomyu Kuo**_ (" _ **Princess Blade**_ "); unlike almost all the Kumeta girls present here, she never got a posthumous organ "gift" from Akagi Anne when the latter had physically died and she had become a disembodied spirit bound to living "horcruxes" such as Tsunetsuki Matoi and her peers. "I only just wish that Chiri-san would properly recognize it." Here, she gazed at the iinchō of Class 2-F.

 

The current incarnation of the Den Mother of the Centre, _**Dulekuo**_ (the " _ **Matron**_ "), snorted. "There are too many in the club already, Rin-san!" she declared.

 

"Ma! Ma! Chiri-chan! Zetsurin! Stop that!" Fu'ura Kafuka moderated, waving her hand. Ignoring the resentful look from Rin at being called by that long-despised nickname, the current incarnation of the Night Traveller gazed in amusement at the visiting Oni warlord. "Lum-chan's father is already nervous enough around us! He doesn't need to see that sort of thing happening right now! We should be happy that he made it here safe and sound without some silly person from Ipraedos trying to delay him for all their silly reasons! Besides, Lum-chan herself is coming soon."

 

As Invader blinked, Kasuga Ayumu hummed. "Yeah, Kafuka-chan, you're right!" the current incarnation of the Infinite One mused before she gazed up to the east, her brown-grey eyes focusing for a moment. "Oji-chan, are you sure your ship's coming? I don't see it anywhere close to Earth."

 

Invader gazed at one of the most powerful beings in the cosmos, then turned back to the woman who had been born the man chosen to fight his daughter for the freedom of Earth. "How...?"

 

Tariko smirked before snapping her fingers, willing _The Book of Pretty Girls_ to appear on the table before the alien warlord. Invader blinked — though he was privately grateful that he had been sleep-taught Japanese so he could understand the written language — then he opened the book to scan the index. Gaping on seeing リーデット・ラム written there for the second entry in this log, he turned the pages to see what had been composed about his little girl. After a moment, a volcano of fury escaped him, causing all the pure Terrans in the room — even a wide-eyed Kinshō, who was being kept tame thanks to both Takino Tomo and Mitama Mayo — to cower. " _ **SOMEONE PUT A**_ **POWER DAMPENER** _ **ON MY LITTLE BABY?!**_ " he shrilled loud enough to shake the house.

 

"Yeah!" Ayumu affirmed as she waved the alien down. "Sorry that Tariko-chan and I couldn't find out who it was! I just got Gifted myself and Tariko-chan was holding off on accepting her Gift..."

 

"I have an idiot _**son**_...!"

 

_**KK-KRACK!** _

 

"All you'll have in the end is that you'll GROW OLD and DIE ALONE, bitch!" Mayo snarled after bashing Ataru's mother down with her handy baseball bat.

 

As a pained groan escaped Kinshō while many people in the room shook their heads, a sound like lightning crashing through the sky echoed overhead. "Damn! She must have come here on her own," Tariko said as people looked up.

 

The ceiling overhead then exploded inward. Fortunately, given that Tariko, Ayumu and Kafuka were reality warpers, the forced shifting of air from the bolt of energy that blasted down through the roof to disguise the teleport beam bringing down Invader's daughter from the hovering ship high in the clouds overhead, well beyond the altitude of any airliner. As Kinshō croaked on seeing the damage to her house, the energy then faded, revealing a green-haired woman in a beautiful tiger-striped strapless bikini and knee-high fur-lined boots, an impish smile on her face. "Sorry to keep you waiting," she then declared in Japanese which had a weird Kansai-like tone to the sounds. "I'm Lum, your opponent...!"

 

Her voice screeched to a halt on seeing the many women there, all dressed in form-fitting jumpsuits with VERY familiar colour combinations and designs. She focused immediately on Tsunetsuki Matoi, who wore a modified version of the older-design hooded sleeved jumpsuit with flared bell-bottom trousers, that done in the temperate woodland camouflage with brown belt and boots and a black target scope icon on the chest of the Mistress of the Hunt, _**Tumr'buote**_ (" _ **Tracker**_ "). In a flash, Redet Lum ducked behind her father, using his body to protect her from the MANY metahumans seated in the room. " _ **DADDY! WHAT ARE**_ **THEY** _ **DOING...?!**_ "

 

Her voice stopped again as she focused on the woman bearing the colours of the Nightmare of the Mother of All Fight Scenes. She blinked for a moment before her eyes went wide. "Tariko-cha...?"

 

Tariko sighed as she leaned her cheek on her hand, an amused smile crossing her face. "I see we're going to need a few takes to figure out THIS scene...!"

 

As the visitors from Uru blinked, all the others in the room chuckled...

 

_**Fin...for Now...?** _

 

****

 

**WRITER'S NOTES**

 

As stated in the introduction under the title card, this is an alternate timeline look at the events surrounding the Tag Race between **Tuyuki** ( **Tariko Katabarbe** , _né_ Moroboshi Ataru) and **Redet Lum** as depicted in the first _Yatsura_ manga story "A Good Catch". Please consult the writer's notes for _The End of the Circus: A Tale of the Yizibajohei_ to understand the galactic situation surrounding Earth. In the universe of _Azumanga Daiō_ , this story is set in the fall term of the first year of high school, as depicted in chapter 8 of the first manga volume. As for the _Sayonara Zetsubō-sensei_ storyline, this is set after **Princess Blade** ( **Itoshiki Rin** ) joined Class 2-F. Note that my names for the high schools depicted in both series are taken from the series' creators, **Azuma Kiyohiko** and **Kumeta Kōji** respectively.

 

 _Sayonara Zetsubō-sensei_ character notes: **Itoshiki Nozomu** and **Fu'ura Kafuka** are the stars of the series, appearing in the very first manga story "Sayonara Zetsubō-sensei"; Kafuka's birth-name **Akagi Anne** and her backstory is a mixture of what was revealed in the manga and my own creation, factoring in the _Harry Potter_ and _Mahō Sensei Negima_ influences in the universe of this story. **Ōra Kanako** was first introduced in "The Cat Who'd Heard It a Million Times" (manga chapter #54). **Kitsu Chiri** was properly introduced in "Align Your Books Precisely on the Shelves, Go Out into the Streets!" (manga chapter #8); this is also when **Marui Madoka** (whose given name was revealed in the twenty-eighth volume of the manga) first appeared. **Kobushi Abiru** was properly introduced in "Not Losing to Elbows, Not Losing to Knees" (manga chapter #5); this was also where **Fujiyoshi Harumi** first spoke in the manga. **Tsunetsuki Matoi** was properly introduced in "Before Me, There's No One; Behind Me, There's You" (manga chapter #4). **Kudō Jun** was properly introduced in "I've Read Books Full of Shame" (manga chapter #22). **Kaga Ai** was properly introduced in "What a Pain" (manga chapter #55). **Otonashi Meru** was properly introduced in "The Antenna is Rising...We Must Attempt to Live!" (manga chapter #7). **Kimura Kaede** (AKA **Kimura Kaere** ) was properly introduced in "Fly Over That Country to Come Here"; her being part-Russian is my creation. **Sekiutsu Maria** first spoke in "No Matter What, We've Got to Stick Together" (manga chapter #9); her birth name **Maria Salonga** is my creation. **Mitama Mayo** was properly introduced in "Vita Sexualis" (manga chapter #46). **Komori Kiri** first appeared in "Beyond the Tunnel Was Whiteness" (manga chapter #3). And Nozomu's younger sister **Itoshiki Rin** first appeared in "Leap Before You Lock Eyes" (manga chapter #18).

 

The characters from _Azumanga Daiō_ who appear here — **Mihama Chiyo** , **Kasuga Ayumu** AKA **Ōsaka** , **Takino Tomo** and **Mizuhara Koyomi** AKA **Yomi** — were introduced in the first volume of the manga.

 

Translation list: **(Name)-dōri** — (Name) Street; **Taisa** — Navy captain, Army colonel or Air Force group captain;  **Tene lomher'buo** — You are ready; **Nesu** — Behold;  **Gyūdon** — Literally "beef bowl", this is a mixed beef, rice and onion dish with other foods that is a popular dish in Japan; **Tenchiaiki Jūkazoku** — Literally "ten harmonious families of Heaven and Earth", these are the direct servants of the Imperial Throne in Japan.

 

 

 **Kamekichi Tampopo** and her restaurant first appeared in my lemon story _The Galatea Syndrome_.

 

 **Sakurambō Hayao** is the birth name I devised for **Cherry** from _Urusei Yatsura_. **Moroboshi Muchi** and **Moroboshi Kinshō** are the names I devised for Ataru's parents.

 

 **Yumoa Reigi** first appeared in _The Senior Year_ story "Sakura's Class Reunion"; this was also where **Toranoseishin Finances** was first introduced. **South Ryekkuch** is the analogue of the North Korean province of **South P'yŏng'an** ( **P'yŏng'annam-do** ) on the planet Noukiios (first introduced in the _TSY_ story "Arrive Reiko-chan"); naturally, **Ryekkyuk** is the analogue of the city of **P'yŏng'yang**.

 


End file.
